Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
