Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
