he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dick very happy bro
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
