I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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