I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
