you have to choose: penises or morals?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
