Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
