I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
