This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
