and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
