oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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