nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
