i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
