Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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