why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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