laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
