Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
