Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
