She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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