I'm drive I can fine osifer
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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