why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize