I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
