She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize