Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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