I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
