dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
