I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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