ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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