your thong is hanging out like whoa
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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