I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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