I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
