She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize