I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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