Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
