i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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