so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
