oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
