Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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