How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize