Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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