My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
