It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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