I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
