i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
