I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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