Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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(480): View more from Arizona

A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.

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(425): View more from Washington

Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...

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(361): View more from Texas

Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I want to be you.

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(801): View more from Utah

When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?

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(770): View more from Georgia

Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?

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