Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
