Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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