Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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