I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
