Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
