I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize