Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
