he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I need water and some morals
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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