She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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