I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
