He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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