Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
