The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
