I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
