i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize