This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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