no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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